Dasaratha had been feeling ill for some time now since
he was getting older. He knew that he had been king for quite some time now and had done
many things while he had been king. Dasaratha had been pondering what to do for quite some time because he felt that it might be his time to step down and give
someone else the power to be king; he simply didn’t know what else he could do
while ruling the kingdom.
One day while he was talking to his son Rama, he had
asked him what he thought about being the king.
Rama ended up explaining to Dasaratha, “I would do my very best and make you proud.”
Rama ended up explaining to Dasaratha, “I would do my very best and make you proud.”
Dasaratha pondered on that thought for many days
after that conversation and realized that it was time to step down from his
throne.
It was the middle of October and Dasaratha called
Kosala Council to order. Dasaratha muttered, “I have grown very old and frail,
and I have decided to step down from the throne. The last thing I have to do is
make my son Rama king, and that is if you, the Kosala Council, will approve of
this."
There were loud roars of celebration and glasses
clanking together. Dasaratha could tell that everyone was more than excited for
the idea of Rama to be king. The members of the council cheered, “Let us make the
ceremonies and the announcements! We are about to have a new king! Of everyone
Rama is going to be one of the very best kings that we have ever had."
Dasaratha was so pleased with the way that everyone had reacted. It really made him wonder if in fact they were not pleased
with the way that he was the king. However, he let that thought slip out of
his mind and he began to celebrate with the council that his son Rama was going
to be the new and upcoming king.
Dasaratha could not wait to tell his son.
Rama explained, “I will make
you a proud father I promise.” Rama went on to tell his mother Kausalya.
His mother explained, “You are going to be a wonderful king. It was time that your father resigned because he is getting old and frail.”
His mother explained, “You are going to be a wonderful king. It was time that your father resigned because he is getting old and frail.”
Kausalya had been waiting and waiting for Dasaratha
to step down because she knew that keeping the name was a lot of work and it
was wearing on Dasaratha.
The day that Rama became king was a day that will
never be forgotten by the council and everyone involved. The entire town came to celebrate their new King Rama.
After the ceremony was a day filled with food and celebration. The town knew that
Rama was going to be a king who would not ever let them down. Dasaratha never
let them down, and they knew that Rama would do the exact same. The celebration
lasted until sunrise. There was dancing and drinks and food for everyone. It was truly a time of celebration for their
new king.
Bibliography: Buck, William (1976). Ramayana: King Rama's Way.
Author's Note: I chose to write about Dasaratha naming Rama king because I was drawn in from the beginning. Dasaratha was getting old
and he had finally came to terms with the fact that it was time for him to step down. In this story I put my own little twists and
gave it my own edge but I mostly tried to stick to the plot about King Dasaratha
giving his title away to his son. I
really wanted to incorporate how Dasaratha was feeling during this time when he
was getting older and how he felt like he was truly getting too old to rule. I wanted
to show how proud Dasaratha was of his son and his accomplishments. I also
wanted to to show how proud he was that he could give away his title to someone
that he could trust the kingdom to. Dasaratha’s wife Kausalya was also pleased
because she realized that Dasaratha was getting frail and knew that he couldn’t take
being ruler much longer. The most
important part of my story was that the entire community was so proud that Rama
would be king. Naming Rama king was something that they were going to be
celebrating for a long time. With that being said, I really enjoyed this story
in Buck's Ramayana.
Great story Kelsey! I’m so happy that you chose a happy ending for the city of Ayodhya. If it weren’t for Kaikeyi, I imagine that the actual story of Rama becoming king would be just like this! I like that you added the subconscious emotion of Dasartha because of everyones excitement. I too would wonder if I had been that great of a king if everyone was saying my son was going to be better than me. Anyways, great story line!
ReplyDeleteKelsey, I like your story a lot. I think you did a really great job with the dialogue. I also appreciate how well you captured the city's joy at the announcement of Rama being the new king. It's a good, happy retelling, and you included a lot of great detail as to how the various characters felt about it. This is particularly true for your descriptions of Dasaratha's emotions. Also, the picture you included supports the story very well. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Kelsey,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your interpretation of this story. I actually wrote a storytelling over this as well, but I like yours much more. What I enjoyed was that you followed very closely to the original story, but more so written in your own words. I think that you could have add a little bit more description, just because it would have added a little bit more variation to your story and would have allowed the reader to see a little bit more of your own voice and style as a writer. But overall I very much enjoyed it because it was easy to follow and easy to understand. Also, in the fourth paragraph, I think the quotation marks have been placed a sentence too early. I thought it was interesting that you skipped the part when the King began asking the council why Rama would be a good king while also defending the greatness of the current king. Great job! I could actually feel how proud he was of his son!
You did a great job with the dialog on this story. I wish I was as comfortable with using dialog to tell a story as you are. I like that you followed the contents of the original but gave it your own twist on the wording that you used. The joy radiating out of this story is amazing. They are so excited that Rama is going to be their King. It is also obvious that Dasartha is proud of his son! I really want to go read the other story. Your style of writing is very simple and easy to understand! I really enjoyed this story overall. The layout of your blog is also great! Love the light pink and yellow. Was this background in the options provided or did you add it yourself?! Great portfolio and blog! Keep up the good work. Best of luck on the rest of the semester!!
ReplyDeleteHey Kelsey!
ReplyDeleteYou did a fantastic job with this story! I absolutely loved the dialog that you had. It made me as the reader feel like I was present. It was a great read because of the excitement and joy that the characters were having throughout the story. Great job!!
I liked your retelling of this story, but I have a few suggestions. In the first paragraph in the first two sentences it is a bit repetitive when you say "for quite some time now" twice, so maybe you could find something else to get your point of a long time across? In the third paragraph, it would be better to say "is make my son, Rama, king; that is if you..." rather than "is make my son Rama king and that is if you," it just flows better without the word "and" in there. In the fifth paragraph it might be better to use the word displeased instead of "were not pleased with". In the sixth paragraph it would be better to use a different word than explained when speaking of what Rama and his mother are doing, for one thing it is repeated in two sentences so it doesn't flow very well, and for another what they are doing is not really explaining something, just holding a conversation.
ReplyDeleteKelsey,
ReplyDeleteI read ‘Rama is King.’
I think you stuck to the plot for the main part. It seems like a while ago that I read this portion of the Ramayana. Do you remember if Dasaratha was jealous when the council and community were extremely excited about Rama being named the new King? If I am right, then your story deviates from that perspective and I really like that Dasaratha can be so positive about it.
I also appreciate that Dasaratha acknowledges his old age and need to step down. It would behoove of the people to recognize his great leadership skills (since he accepts that it is time for a new king instead of holding onto power). This part reminds me of older people having a difficult time giving up their car keys when they start to lose their vision or their reaction time slows.
One suggestion I have is to eliminate the phrase ‘for some time now’ in two of the first three sentences. I think it might sound a little smoother/less repetitive.
Kelsey,
ReplyDeleteI chose to read "Rama is the King." for the extra credit project assignment. I would watch out for repetitions. I noticed a few repeating words in the first paragraph. A lot of your sentences were extra wordy. There's a proofreading strategy for avoiding wordy phrases. It's really helpful! You should try to replace lengthy phrases with a strong word. It sounds a lot more professional.
Other than a few errors, I think your story was great. It has been a while since I read the Ramayana, your story gave me a good recall. Good work, Kelsey! :)